Have you ever heard of the Green Eyed Monster?
We all have one – she lives inside of us, nudging us when something sparkles in someone else’s hands, murmuring when yet another smart, successful, size zero siren walks by or drops yet another hint as to how someone else’s ideas, contacts, projects are infiitely bigger and better than yours.
In a word, I struggle with lust – the need to have what everyone else has, to be as successful as they are, to be as happy and cultured and privileged as they are, to be as disciplined and insightful.
And it’s destroying me.
Each time I set my sights on something else, compare myself and find myself far short and hardly pointed in the right direction, I feel my soul dying inside me, feel yet another part of me ripped away by Prometheus’s eagle.
Perhaps I’m the only one with this problem, but I feel that it’s not that I can’t do it – my monster keeps changing the focus of my aspirations, ensuring that none of them ever pick up enough speed to reach the destination.